Dear Babies,

Happy Birthday to you. As usual I’m not there to celebrate with you, and I’m very bummed about that. I would really love to see you in your new spot, in yet another new phase of your life. Phases which seem to go by very quickly before a new one pops up huh? Your life seems to be moving quicker and quicker and for the better as you navigate farther away from your old life. New friends and new experiences and new environments. And finally, a place all to yourself, like you’ve always wanted. A beautiful little house in the woods, right on the water. What could be better? I’m really happy for you, and proud of you and what you’re accomplishing. I know its hard but you’re really making it happen Angel.

This year I didn’t go ham on the presents. But what I did get you I hope will last you for many years in their usefulness, both personal and professional. Also…a card. Hehehe. But as usual I’ve cooked you up a little something, which sadly I let slip in Hawaii a bit. But I’ve fixed up the mix, and now you can listen to it whenever you please please please. Heheheh.

Love you very much Sweetheart, and I’ve been very happy to bring you into the back half of your twenties! The best part is, it’s only going to get better from here! Happy happy birthday Queen Kamz! Reign supreme Babies.

Love Brendan

Dear Sampa Babies,

Well here we are Queen Kamz…our two year anniversary. It’s strange that it seems equally amazing, and somewhat normal to have made it this far, despite everything we’ve been through. It feels like a lifetime has passed by, and it also feels like no time at all. As usual defying the laws of physics, as you always have done! It ought to be noted that we’ve had a lot of trials this year, stemming from a variety of sources, and in varying degrees of severity, but we’ve always managed to be loving and kind to each other. We’ve even fought lovingly and kind to each other, and that is something that is very rare, and beautiful in my estimation. There are of course many things going on that are wonderful, and great, not the least of which is your continued and rapid healing, and action towards your goals. The excellent impressions you are leaving on your cohorts and new friends, are connections both professional and personal that will last a lifetime. You are beautiful, gorgeous actually, and smart and talented in ways that you probably don’t see…but I do. And other people too. I love you very much, and I can easily and fondly recall our earliest memories together two years ago as if they were yesterday. Queen Kamz you are a good woman, with a golden heart and you deserve only the best, and I like to think I’ve been the best for you during our time together. Even though I can be a major butt sometimes…heheheh.

I love you with all my heart Queen Kamz. And I will always love you Angel. My ultra Fuego Sampaguita Mamita Chica Hermosa Mango XXL Burrito Queen Babies.

Now you know I couldn’t possibly update this “blog” as you like to call it without a song for you…and I bet you could guess who the artist is if you thought about it…for 5 seconds. This singer has had a profound impact on both our lives I should say, and in such a short time! Sort of metaphorical of our actual relationship huh? His voice has both confused, confounded, and aggravated, but also excited and inspired, and there’s one song in particular that seems to have effected us both…and I knew it was the perfect song for our anniversary…Mega wuvs of the ultra variety Queen Kamz…

Here’s a little Al Jarreau for my Babies.

Dearest Kamz,

Happy Birthday my Angel. It’s your special day and you deserve the most special day! You’re 27 and Gemini adores you! I know I already summarized this in your birthday card but…look at all you’ve done this year. Look at who you’ve blossomed into. You’re so much stronger, faster…more powerful…more able. You are coming up and I hope you feel even the littlest bit of pride in yourself. You’ve accomplished so much, in so short a time. It may have felt like a long time, but it was a very short time in the grand scheme of things. You’re blasting off. I’m so proud of you, especially of all your accomplishments this summer. Which, you did indeed, do all by yourself. But your project, now complete, your committee…all these major mile stones…MAJOR milestones one after the other. More to come. Wonderful things are right around the corner for you Angel I promise. Happy birthday Queen Kamz. And many many many more to come. See you in a few days, and I’ll have tons of presents for you! Heheheh. I love you so much.

Oh…PS. Here’s another song for my Angel! It’s for the Swifty fans buried deep within us. Mega Wuvs.

Hi Queen Kamz,

Very hard to believe our one year has arrived. We’ve been through so so so much this year, it’s really hard to fathom. Almost impossible. It has been a long brutal year for both of us…but especially for you. You’ve grown and changed in so many important and incredible ways, and all the while, proved over and over again your dedication to yourself, to me, and to our relationship. It has felt at times, like trouble is always around the corner for one or both of us, and each time, we’ve really plowed into it, and handled the problem, instead of running from it, or hiding from it. We’ve been honest with each other, at times brutally honest, and we haven’t run away. I really appreciate that I can talk to you about very difficult things, and you always come back to me with a clear head and positive intentions (when you’re done being a spoiled brat! 🤣). When you allow me to express myself, it makes me feel loved, and heard, and cared for, and I see you actively working and making changes to support me. I hope I have done the same for you. I’m very proud of you, and if I’m being honest I’m very proud of us. I struggle with togetherness, and closeness, and accepting love into my heart, but when I check in with myself, I know I love you just as deeply as I ever have. You’re my best friend, and the best fap buddy in the world (🤣🤣🤣). I know you love me, and I feel you love me just for me, and that is a wonderful feeling. I love you too Queen Kamz. And I can’t wait to see what we accomplish together and independently in the coming year. Worship my Queen Kamz Reign Supreme and happy Kammiversary.

Oh wait…I almost forgot the song!

You had asked me for a variety of tunes for our anniversary…and I largely ignored your requests…heheheh. I wondered: what is something NEW I could do for you, and potentially meaningful. I thought about it and Panic at the Disco popped up in my mind. Not merely because you enjoy it but because we’ve listened to it on our myriad road trips up and down the coast. And one song in particular occurred to me. I remember listening to this on our way up from LA in March and it hit me on a very emotional level (I think I teared up in the car, but you didn’t notice - heheh). Don’t get me started on how much I hate the lyrics to this song, and how it contains some of the worst grammar in song lyrics of all time - LOLZ - but I knew when it popped into my head it was the song for your anniversary gift. I also thought it would be great slowed down and smoothed over a bit, and it was! Above all else, the song is about someone putting their life as a single person aside for a shot at “happily ever after” and a “lifetime of laughter,” and that seems to be the journey we’re on. I have not regretted hanging up my spurs even for a moment since we connected last June the 3rd, and I have no intention of putting them back on. I do feel happy when we’re together, and I do feel loved, and we do laugh and laugh a lot when we’re together. So lets make it to year 2 okay Babies! I love you, happy anniversary…I mean Kammiversary!

Dear Kam,

Contrary to what you might think I am very bad at relationship stuff…especially Valentine’s day stuff. 🥺 I knew with everything going on and all the traveling and stress, I was probably going to drop the ball on Valentine’s day this year…and even though technically me coming up this last weekend was supposed to be your “gift” (😑), and we did have some romantic and lovely dinners over the weekend, I didn’t want to come up completely empty handed on Valentine’s Day! So I made you something with my own hands. It isn’t a clay pot or a watercolor painting or anything like that…but hopefully you will enjoy it. I knew I wanted to make you a song for Valentine’s but I didn’t know what. And as we were having some tough times in the last few weeks I wanted to record something that you really enjoyed, and something that you might find inspiring. I remembered suddenly that you had found solace and support in Lizzo’s record over the summer and beyond and so I went back to it and was reminded how many bangers are on there, and I knew I had to do one of those! So I know I’m not a body-posi-black lady-superstar…but I hope my little version of 2BLoved will help you on your journey just a little bit too! 😍🤩😅🥹 Happy Valentine’s Day Queen Kamz.

Dear Kamz,

Something I’ve noticed since you came into my life is how every song that plays, seems to be about you. From Bruno Mars’ Chunky, to Sunflower…by Postie. I’ve often wondered how does she do that? How are all the songs about her? I feel like Chunky was our initial anthem, which I recorded for you right away, but Sunflower has been slowly and surely bubbling up, to the point that I can’t really get it out of my head. It’s been stuck in there for months. So I made a special version for you, for your birthday. I know you will go hard at 26. I’m proud of you and the work you are doing. You are a Queen, and you are slowly but surely Reigning, and Supremeing, at your own pace, and in your own way. Love you Queen Kamz. I hope you enjoy my cover of Sunflower - just for you Babies.

Oh…I nearly forgot to mention, I’ve been cooking something else up for you. A lengthy, (and hopefully sleep inducing) guided meditation. It’s based on a conversation we had a few weeks ago, and these images popped into my head almost right away. If you don’t pass out immediately, I hope you will find the images and emotions useful, insightful, and meaningful. If you would like to read the script just ask and I will send it to you. I truly hope this might help you heal, if even just the tiniest bit. I believe in you with all my heart.

Here are the new lyrics I wrote to Swae’s first verse. Some of them are bespoke to us, and others are just patching over his goof ball lyrics. But, I think this is much better. X^P

Needless to say I keep it in check
She was a bad one nevertheless
Calling it quits now baby I’m a wreck
Crash at my place baby you’re a wreck

SOS, all hands on deck
Went a little fast, but no regrets
Calling it quits now baby I’m a mess
Crash at my place baby you’re a mess

Thinking in a bad way losing your grip
Crying all damn day baby don’t trip
Looking at you sideways, lost not found
Feeling like our world turn upside down
Ooh-ooh, somethings you can’t refuse
She tryna break all the rules
And I’m not tryna lose